we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I had to cum in my sink.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
