Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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