Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
