Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I can't put those talents on a resume
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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