I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
