ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
