Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
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You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
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I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
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