I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
