My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm passing your future prison.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
