these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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