I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize