I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
