I think I can smell my own vagina right now
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize