Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
