so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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