you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
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