i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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