K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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