YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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