Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
