How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
