I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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