covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Dear god my vagina.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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