Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
