I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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