doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
