She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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