Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
