it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
