And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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