are you still at the devil's house?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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