Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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