If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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