No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
