we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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