My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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