Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
