You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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