also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
