I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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