We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
