what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
