I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
