I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
