i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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