Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
