I wish I could punch you in the face.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
