Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Randomize
