i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
