I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Is this like a preordered booty call?
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