last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
