Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
