I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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