Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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