I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
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