At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
