they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
