It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Randomize
