I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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