I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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