Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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