He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize