Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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