He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
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I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
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I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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