we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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