You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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