They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
