she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
