I wannas sexs uuuuu
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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