does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
