At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
