You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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