Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
